


Eyes of the Copycat

by YokaiShinari



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Needs a Hug, Adrien hates himself, Adrien-centric, Angst, Canon Divergence, Chat vs Copycat, Copycat - Freeform, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Episode: s01 L'Imposteur | Copycat, Nightmares, Sexual Assault, but he's an akuma victim don't forget, copycat is a freak here, dont hate me i had to get it out of my system, even more angst, i know some of you had these thoughts, im not that cruel, lots of feelings, male sexual abuse victim, nothing too graphic, some blood, someone protect this kid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-08 21:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17988779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YokaiShinari/pseuds/YokaiShinari
Summary: "There's nothing wrong in a little self-love, kitten."Cold, dimmed basement under the workshop. Hard concrete under his back. Heavy chains cutting into his wrists. And the same eyes as his piercing the air, burning on the back of his head; screaminghungerand dark intentions.No way out. Only him and consequences of his stupid actions.





	1. The Copycat

**Author's Note:**

> Darker turn of the episode. Rated M to be safe, even if the sexual themes are visible here, I tried keeping it rather mild. This is a version with an alternative ending to the same fanfiction I posted in December on FF.net.   
> I tried conveying more emotions. Tried... The rest I leave to you.

The workshop looked normal, as in how normal could a sculptor's workplace look. But at the very back of the room there was a metal trapdoor opened, which most probably lead to the man's hideout.

Chat Noir made a quick call to Ladybug, hoping it wouldn't take him long to unarm the Copycat himself, and entered the hidden room.

He tried to suppress his steps, but the stairs were made of cheap metal, that clicked under Chat's boots and he cringed at the sound. So much for sneaking in... It seemed though, that no one was inside. The cellar was dark with the exception of a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The air was humid and thick. One could choke in such atmosphere. Tensing, Chat tried enhancing his senses; to hear any indicator of the villain's presence, or to notice something extraordinary. He didn't need to wait long.

He stepped on a loose concrete tile, that clicked suspiciously and, before he could react, from a hidden mechanism under the floor, a pair of shackles shoot, clasping around his wrists. The boy yelped with surprise.

"What the-?"

Examining the chains he saw that they were massive enough to lock down an unnaturally strong superhero. They connected to a crank in the floor. A mouse trap set for a cat... by a copycat.

Not thinking much, Chat raised his hand, summoning his destructive powers to get rid of the chains. But before he could perform the magic, something forced his claws onto a piece of wood. And just like this, his only solution for a quick release vanished in the dust of his hands. Chat growled and looked around.

The feline creature standing in the shadows behind him chuckled viciously, the sound of it and the sight of glowing lime green eyes sending unpleasant creeps down the superhero's spine.

"Well, I expected more from the _oh-so-great_ hero of Paris. - a voice similar to his own drawled. Its tone, however, was everything but familiar. The _darkness_ in it crawled under. - You fell into my trap like a cat in the box!"

_Oh, he so did not like this villain at all._

 "If you gotta crack jokes on my account, at least make them funny!" Chat retorted, keeping his eyes on Copycat who was now circling him, lurking on the edge of the light; conveniently away from the reach. It was enough for him to see the villain, though. And he felt utter irritation at the sight, for there stood a perfect _copy_ of himself, grinning devilishly with a self pride so visible, it engulfed him wholly.

Enough with the gaping, Chat reached behind his back to...to find nothing there. And again he heard a hissing chuckle shaking off of the villain.

"Looking for something?" - the fake held up Chat's baton in one hand and his own in the other. The real one growled again.

"Give it back!"

"Why? So you could think you have an advantage over me? In your dreams, kitty!"

_Kitty_

Only Ladybug could call him that. Coming from any other mouth it sounded like an insult. Even though their _partnership_ didn't seem like a very close one yet, it happened to be their own, mutual thing that she could call him his pet name, and he could address her as his Lady.

Speaking of whom...

Chat's communicator signaled incoming call and he watched with a dread as the fake answered it. He wanted to warn his partner, to scream for her it was a trap, but the other cat in the room ended the call before his voice could be heard and started walking around again -

"Don't worry, pal. I'm not going to hurt her."

Like that was supposed to calm him...

"After all... - Copycat grabbed a photo of Ladybug and stared at it, zoning out for a moment. Chat watched his face and the expression he saw, filled him with anxiety for his partner. The man was examining every detail of the heroine silhouette in the picture. His dark longing clearly visible in his mad eyes, and unconsciously bitten lips. - ...she's _all_ I care about. All I _need_."

"If you so much as lay a finger on her, I- "

"You, though... - the fake cut him out, not caring one bit about what kind of threat Chat wanted to give. He walked to the side, to a small workshop table and took something. With a metal flick and a hiss of a lighter, a cigarette was lit, and Copycat inhaled deeply, turning to face Chat again. - I don't think you'll be of any use to me."

Chat clenched his fists, watching Copycat using his hands to flick the ash from the lit cigarette. The smoke enveloping his face made him look even more sinister. Glowing lime green eyes were getting closer, conveying a dark promise. A threat. So the cat tensed, readying himself for the clash.

A neon butterfly symbol stopped the fake in his tracks, as he listened to the voice in his head.

"The ring? - he spoke out loud, eyeing Chat - Easy, boss. This kitten is harmless now. I think I'd like to _play_ a little with him, while I wait for Ladybug."

Chat didn't like the way Copycat's mouth formed a vicious grin. He tried tugging at his restrains, when suddenly something hit him hard in the back. The impact forming a surprised grunt from him. But with a flickering light above him he realized - he was laying on the ground. And that the Copycat had actually tripped him, without him even hearing any of his moves. He was horribly good.

Even more scaring was the sound of metal clicking above his head, and the feeling of his wrists being pulled. Seemed like the crank in the ground could be spun and cut his chains short. How convenient...

Also convenient was a faint first beep of Chat's ring. Very much needed right now.

"What's the matter, kitty? - his own head appeared in his vision - Feeling _grounded_?"

"Just wait. - the hero hissed - You'll regret this."

Copycat just snickered and put his feet on either of Chat's side and crouched with a swift motion. He inhaled the rest of his cigarette and leaned in, blowing the smoke straight into his victim's face.

Chat cringed at the unpleasant smell, burning sensation and ash on his tongue when he couldn't help but inhale the second mouthed smoke a bit. And it stung, he coughed.

"Get away from me!"

 The man just chuckled and straightened his back, still being in a too close for comfort proximity to Chat. Even worse was when he put his knees down, straddling now the younger boy.

"Oh, I'm not planning on this. - his drawl reverberated through both of their bodies. Chat barred his teeth at the sensation, as his blood started running hot. He couldn't do anything. - And what exactly am I going to regret? That I possessed the body of Ladybug's lover? That I literally have the said lover on my will now? That I'll do anything to prove to Ladybug that I'm better that him and make HIM regret ever living?!"

Copycat grabbed Chat's collar and peered angrily, _hungrily_ into his eyes. Cat like pupils dangerously narrowed and his own dilated, realizing appearing ideas in the other man's eyes.

A slick tongue made its way up his cheek and Chat winced with disgust. Then he thrashed.

"UGH! Get off!"

His arms ached, unnaturally bent up and restrained. His middle was actually _grounded_ with another body pressed on. Legs couldn't find a good support to fight.

Different kind of fear clenched his guts. He was in a position no fourteen year old should ever find himself in. And it made him sick. Cold and sick.

Copycat squeezed his chin, grinning like a madman.

"What, purr-etty boy? - he _purred_! - You seem big enough to understand your... position."

Again the impersonator pinned Chat to the ground, and hunched forward, taking a liking to his golden bell. He suggestively stroke it once. Twice.

"Haven't you and your _Lady_ ever been there? Haven't you wanted her to sit like this? To... touch you?"

Chat froze when his bell was pulled down with one sweep and he felt cold basement air on his naked chest. Leather clad claws that weren't his nonchalantly caressed his skin.

"Don't worry... for now. I'm an artist and I tend to cherish any artistic piece. And you appear to be a very... very _fine_ work of art, Chat Noir."

Tingly feeling that Copycat left on Chat's skin lead lower and lower. It wasn't hurting, but he felt pain nevertheless. It was just wrong. Overly wrong. Physical strains tugged inside him; he tried not to feel anything.

To the point of choking up a quiet sob.

"...stop." - he breathed.

Copycat just chuckled and leaned in, again peering into his eyes. The ravish green now dark and menacing. Nothing but sick malice oozing from them. Along with his dizzying nicotine breath.

"There's nothing wrong in a little self-love, _kitten_."

Another beep of fading miraculous power filled a second of thick atmosphere and Chat grew more frantic and scared. Heart beating fast, he only started running with his thoughts, blocking his mind from the feeling of rough lips and tongue on his cheeks, accompanied with throaty moans. Or hands gripping possessively at his ribs. Or strange grating motions of another body pressed on his abdomen...

_Where was Ladybug?_

He shuddered. No. It was better that she wasn't here. To see him like this. To see him this helpless and scared and...

And not in his life he would have wanted Ladybug any near this madman. Even if he was a victim of Hawkmoth.

But she would come eventually. And he wouldn't be there for her if he lost his powers _now._

So he thrashed, growling, pulling his arms, trying to find a way to escape, startling the copycat at first.

"Oh, wow, kitty grew claws!"

"Get. Off. Me, you bastard!"

The fake's only answer was a graceful change of position and then... a knee shoved between Chat's legs.

A high pitched squeak escaped Adrien's lips at the forceful contact, which surprised himself, for he hadn't even known he could produce such sound. Embarrassed  partially of this, and his position secondly, he snarled with rage through gritted teeth and glared into the copy of his eyes. He found only cold, muddy satisfaction. And menacingly barred fangs.

"This cat has some claws too. And knows how to use them"

Then he scratched, deeply but not deadly, on Chat's chest and blood appeared as quickly as the boy's sudden shriek. Without the protection of the suit the wounds hurt, and he couldn't hold the pain and the surprise, and he whimpered, moving, trying to squirm away. The reaction visibly amusing his opponent. But he held him in a tight grip, dipping claws into his sides. Intoxicated with all Chat's sounds, entertained with his every fruitless attempt to flee, Copycat added a maddening laugh to the present cacophony of quiet curses, whining and clinking chains, never stopping his knee from _rubbing in_.

_Get away. Get away. GET AWAY!_

His mind both a whirlwind of cat instincts and a blank space of a human child. Where helplessness took hold, it was replaced in an instant with impulses of survival. When he tried biting back, it was soon changed into cold blood and limp body. Then he could just lay back and make an effort not to look into the villains eyes. Everywhere, but not his eyes. Piercing. Cold. Both glowing and shady.

"What's up, kitty? Tired already?"

He had to look up. Anger shook him abruptly, and Chat roared. Bending his torso up as far as he could and roared into the villains face, wordlessly , desperately expressing his boiling emotions. He breathed hard and ragged; his throat sore from all the strained sounds and snarls and hisses. He had to do _something_.

Chat struggled again, growling. When Copycat moved a bit, he felt the pressure in one of his legs loosening. Taking this as his last opportunity, he lifted one knee to kick, to make some space between them. In the cold basement he still felt too hot, despite the cold sweat and stone walls.

But the other cat noticed his attempt and reacted immediately. With another, now harder, shove in the now exposed groin.

Chat screamed in full as the pain erupted. Scratches on his chest gushed new droplets of blood and tears pricked in his eyes. Violated. That's the word. He felt so violated, and defeated. Through the white pain and humiliation he almost didn't notice the third signal of his miraculous.

_Plagg. He must be holding the transformation as long as he can._

Adrien barely thought about the amount of Camembert he would have to buy his kwami after all _this_ , when a new source of pain exploded. Now in his neck. So he focused on a blond head with black cat ears that purred and moaned right next to his face. He sobbed, terrified, as that head lifted and those cold eyes peered into him again and that face smiled haughtily. Blood splattered on its lips.

"Bad, kitty."

He _bit_ him.

Help. He needed help. And quick. Anyone. Even Ladybug. Let her be here sooner. Help him. Chat didn't care. Just he needed _away_. Away from this monster. _Please!_

For the first time he regretted ever getting his ring. Also he learned hard way what consequences could lay in a seemingly little lie.

It was all his doing... Him himself.  So Chat laid back again, as the wave of indifference and self-hatred engulfed him, slowly coming to accept his defeat. And punishment. He felt like fading. Just a few minutes and he'll transform back...

_...shit, it hurts..._

...and then Hawkmoth will take his miraculous and it will be all over. Just he needed _this_ to end. _Please,_ end this.

_...please, stop..._

_...stop..._

...

Copycat, pausing, braced himself on his palms, taking a close look on Chat's face.  Then he grimaced at the expression he saw. Exhaustion and cold.

"You're no fun, when you're like this."

"You're no fun at all." - Chat Noir deadpanned, despite himself. At least some dose of his old self still remained...

A low, rumbling chuckle was the other cat's answer. This was coming to an end, superhero thought, just... in what way?

"You're right." - the impersonator replied - "This is no longer fun."

He French-kissed Chat's wound on the neck as if in good-bye (receiving almost no reaction this time), and reached for the boy's right hand, who seemed deflated from all emotions.

Just as he was about to take the ring, they heard a zip of a line and muffled, quick footsteps somewhere in the warehouse. So he paused and stood, his mouth forming an elated grin.

A devilish, elated grin.

_"Chat?"_

_Ladybug._

The feeling of relief and fear hit Chat at once. She was here. Finally here. _She was here._

Copycat shared his relief, but his other emotions were plainly different. _Darker_. Chat noticed it with a dread and tried to mentally grasp last remains of fight within him and took a breath.

"Lady- _mpfh_!"

A cloth was forced in his mouth, before he could cry anything more. Now any warning shouts were some barely muffled whines of a chained alley cat.

The villain flashed his teeth in triumph before leaping up the basement, leaving him chained, feeling degraded, his suit and skin disheveled, _pained,_ but... still willing to break free, for there appeared a spark that made him want to.

_Her._

But he heard their voices. She sounded _so_ relieved. And Chat made an irritated sound, both at what that cat would be doing, would be planning to do, and at his chains that were just too thick to do anything with them...

Talk about his bad luck.

Then he more like sensed than heard at first Ladybug's footsteps approaching, and he tensed. It was too quiet. Where did that madman go?

Copycat was nowhere to be seen, when Chat saw Ladybug's face. Her concerned feelings. Determination, that soon was changed into... into fear. Disgusted, sticky fear.

Because she realized. She realized that her partner wouldn't have left a victim in such a state that this leather clad cat was in. And the one on the loose was actually...

Chat, still chained and gagged, started whining, shaking his head at her. His green eyes pleading _"Run! Please run!"._ Hot tears still running down his face. But, of course, she wouldn't have left her partner to this fate. So she run _for_ him, and crouched next to him, frozen for a moment, taking in the sight of horror. The chains. His wounded skin. The _blood._ His pained face...

Ladybug with her own pained expression and _pity_ in her eyes _,_ snatched the cloth from his mouth a little too quick and he winced.

"Ladyb _ugh_... - he panted - he... r-run... please..."

"He did _this_ to you?" - she still couldn't comprehend why this particular akuma had downed himself to be this brutal. And to Chat especially, _What had he done to cause it?_

But it was a conversation for another time. Not now, when Ladybug had to ensure her partner's safety first.

Chat tugged at his chains frantically and the girl snapped into action.

"How does this work?" - she asked, examining the metal, quickly running her fingers along every circle.

"The crank. In the floor."

He didn't stop jerking his arms. Now that freeing himself from these restrains was so close. He wanted out. OUT with them!

"The key?"

"I don't know! Get them off!"

Ladybug startled with his outburst. But she understood quickly where did it come from. A chained cat is scared. Chained AND hurt cat needs to escape. Acting on pure instincts to flee to safety.

She jumped on her feet and to the workshop tables around. She searched the shelves, knocking off some tools and what-nots. Still having her partner's distressed groans in the back of her head she herself growled angrily and grabbed the first handsaw she laid her eyes on.

"Hurry!"

Then the same voice as her partner's sounded from the basement steps and they both froze. The voice drawled and hissed.

"Looking for something?"

He stood there. A perfect copy of her partner. He looked the same and sounded alike, but that's where the similarities ended. He regarded himself more arrogantly. Boasted more, as if having these powers he obtained (was given) made him invincible. Entitled for his position.

And for her.

His eyes were different. Now she saw it. They were both dark and gleaming with mischief. He wanted to harm, to have, to _hurt._  And Ladybug mentally kicked herself for not noticing those things the moment she saw him.

Chat whined at the sight of him and she clenched her fists, one still gripping the handle of the tool she collected.

"You free him right now."

"He's not worth it." - Copycat scorned, taking a few steps towards Ladybug and the still chained real cat. For more, his words made Ladybug turn her face into the same angered expression as her partner was sporting, growling at the akuma.

" Once I take his miraculous you can team up with me. I'm far better than him. I'm not afraid of powers I have. Look at him - he's weak. And stupid. Went right into my trap..."

"Shut up!"

That was Chat Noir's yell. He strained and tugged at his chains forcefully. Keen on being freed; wanting to block the words that spilled from their enemy's mouth like poison. Of course he was stupid, but he didn't want Ladybug to hear it from _that_ cat. To hear everything he'd done.

Ladybug threw away the saw she held and moved to kneel next to Chat, putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. Glaring intensely at the fake, her frustration slowly made its way out, but she had to remember, that that wasn't a man of his free will. He wasn't the real threat. Hawkmoth was.

But that couldn't stop the emotions of being directed at the closest source of danger. Copycat.

"You don't know him! You can't just torture, mock and throw away a person, just because you want his position!" She paused, regarding her partner. Then wary of his wounds, she carefully pulled Chat's zipper up, enveloping his skin with their magical, protective leather and smiled kindly at him. Her look and her kindness didn't reassure him, though, and he just turned his eyes away with shame. It surprised her only for a moment, and then she glared at the copycat again. "You hurt others. You think only of yourself and what you want. I'd _never_ team up with anyone who's like that! Just because you have his powers, it doesn't make you my partner!"

Her words enraged the copycat. Seeping with wrath he scowled at both of them.

For a second the butterfly symbol appeared on his face and then he flashed his fangs with finality.

"If I can't have you, then no one will!"

From where he was still laying on the floor, Chat could mostly hear the Copycat summoning his powers and then hard boots quickly closing in. Ladybug stood there next to him, her weapon ready, casting bright light in circles in the dimmed basement. She against an enraged cataclysm. Alone. Because he still couldn't break free.

He could only keep wrenching the shackles, until they began to painfully cut into his wrists. He didn't want to see the fight. His Lady could be capable of fighting that guy off, but it always takes the two of them...

Stupid. Why hadn't he thought about waiting for her earlier?

Stupid!

His inner turmoil disrupted a sudden black figure thrown his way. Chat flinched and recoiled to the side as far as he could... And rolled away a few more meters; the remnants of the chains withering from around his wrists. He was free.

From there he and Ladybug quickly pinned down and freed the akuma from the villain that bore his face. Chat couldn't stay long, though. First, because of his miraculous wearing off. Two...

He couldn't. All he had before his eyes was that face and his own disgust. His body was still in pain, which slowly was creeping more, due to adrenaline subsiding.

And the shame.

Ladybug reached for him, but his broken pride led hid away from her.

"Don't."

He shrugged her off. Ladybug. His adored partner. The one he trusted the most. No. He felt awful. Both physically and at heart.

Without looking back he fled from the warehouse. _Theo's workshop._ It all started here.

 

Adrien barely managed to jump into the closest alley, stumbling when his transformation dropped and he himself fell on the ground. Aching in his body erupted anew from the earlier tortures he bear. Cowering on his knees, he groaned, taking shallow breaths trying to release his hurting.

_Miraculous ladybug_ cured most of his wounds, but the phantoms from his earlier experience remained.

All should be well now. He was free, no miraculous was stolen, Ladybug won this fight, but still... A sob wrenched his chest, surprising him. After a second, he succumbed to these feelings and he let himself choke on those tears.

Right next to him a little black creature raised his head at him from the ground.

"Kid? - he meowed weakly. A still buried sniff answered him. - Are you okay?"

No. That was the first logical answer. How the hell would he be okay?

Adrien grit his teeth when another whine escaped his lips.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

Those glowing green eyes will forever haunt his dreams. Or even days. Because... those were his own eyes. Though threatening and creepy - those were his eyes. Eyes of a copycat. Evil glow, the consequences of his own actions.

Being Chat Noir was supposed to be freeing. Finally he got a channel to escape his responsibilities.

But there was another set of new ones he had to. HAD TO face.

Has he failed..?

A low growl rose from his throat as he tried collecting himself. Ladybug wouldn't like him to think like this. He will take care of this another time.  
  
Him first. His body screamed at him. When his crotch throbbed in pain and his neck itched after being torn with teeth, though now healed. He wasn't okay _now, but..._ But... After the pain is gone, he will make sure no one. ever. touches him. like _that._ Again _._

He should be more careful. Both with what he does and what he says. 

Adrien finally took in a deep calculated breath, suddenly feeling a bit better. _No thinking now._ He gently picked Plagg from the ground and breathed.

"Y-yeah. I will be. - he swallowed, straightening to his feet. - I will be okay."

 

 


	2. The coping-cat, part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is trying to deal with the aftermath of those traumatic events

Inhale. Exhale.

 

When he had woken up, he was fine. Adrien went through his morning routine without a second thought: get up, freshen up, get dressed, light breakfast, limo. No stiff joints. No pulled muscles. No signs of anything out of the order.

Greeting his classmates went as usual: hand waves, handshakes, polite nods and smiles. Every face the same as always. Every interaction. Nothing strange. Nothing changed.

 

Inhale. Exhale.

 

First warning Adrien got when his friend, Nino, ran up to him all excited about something. Usual Nino. But then the boy jumped on him in a hug without warning. And as his friend's breath had so much as tinged his neck, Adrien flinched with a hiss.

Nino noticed. Frowned with concern and tried asking about his well being, but the model dismissed his worry, a little too quickly and excused himself. His own worry not visible to the outer world of his mind. Along with his inner mantra saying _Nino is a friend Nino is a friend Nino..._

 

Then it began.

Involuntary flinches and winces upon every unexpected touch. Him sitting quietly, zoning out during class, failing to block his mind from projecting his duplicated face so close to his. Him, absentmindedly rubbing his chest, where the claws tore his skin the day before. Faking smiles even more than usual. Attempts to hide his face from everyone.

And those thoughts of failure and disgust in himself and...

And, _of course,_ an akuma had to strike the school that very day.

An akuma meant transformation.

So Adrien run, as always towards the nearest restroom. But not to transform.

To hide.

 

Inhale.

Exhale.

Reminding himself how to breathe, Adrien sat on a closed toilet, cradling his head in his arms, anxiety pumping in his blood like oxygen.

He was scared of transforming. To see himself in that cat form, to hear his own voice, see those claws, remember his suit being forcefully opened. Or, to remember how _weak_ he actually felt, even while clad in his super-powered costume. How useless.

So he sat there, choking tears in his throat, apologizing quietly to his Lady, whom he heard was already fighting the supervillain. She will be okay without him. She must be. She always is.

Since yesterday, it's been obvious.

His kwami hovered above his head, worry written across his little godly face. But he stayed silent. He understood.

Inhale. Exhale...

 

Chat Noir didn't show up for patrol that evening. Nor the next one. Or the next.

 

With a few days after fighting Copycat, Adrien thought he would heal a bit. He wanted to stop sulking or having those instinctive impulses, but with time it seemed more and more difficult. Not transforming wasn't helping either, and he knew, oh damn, he _knew,_ that Ladybug would kick his ass for abandoning his duties without good excuses. And while a day after day passed, the more his anxiety to face his partner grew.

And then the nightmares dawned on him.

He saw in those a feline shaped shadow with glowing green eyes, who ripped his suit and his skin with enormous claws. Another time he saw himself hanging from the ceiling, chained by his wrists. His suit torn, and both his friends and strange people, all looking at him with pity in their eyes. Some were laughing, while he cried for them to help him.

One nightmare was about Copycat again, straddling him. Touching him. His teeth and eyes horribly bright. His laugh echoing in his ears, as Chat struggled, asking him to stop. Begged him. Whined with pain and sobbed helplessly.

With a blink of an eye, Copycat's suit dissolved in a puff of dark smoke, and there he was, half naked, leaning over on him. Chat's chest bore bloody scratches again and his impersonator laid on top of those and began rubbing _his_ chest into them. Mewling and moaning and breathing hard into Chat's face. He heard his laughter, and his resonating purr forming words like: "kitten", "mine", and "Chat Noir". Fervent claws roaming his body...

On the corner of his blurred vision, Chat saw a red figurine sitting by that familiar workshop table. His Lady was there. Watching. Her face dark and curious, though, and she was smoking one of Copycat's cigarettes. The smoke making her look like someone else. Like a _villain._ Even while Chat deeply wanted it, he couldn't make a sound, couldn't scream for her to help him. And she just watched as Copycat changed his position on top of Chat's body. Feeling numb, the hero couldn't even register _what_ the other cat was doing, because all he could do was watch with a shock as Ladybug grinned at him, winked, and then reached with her other hand down, between her crossed thighs...

Adrien shook himself awake abruptly. In the middle of the night he was covered in cold sweat, breathing hard. What took his attention was the tingly feeling in his body. And hot blood in his veins pumping south... His teenage hormones taking control over his harassed organ.

With a choked whimper Adrien shoot from the bed and dashed towards the bathroom, tearing his pajamas off of him. Embarrassed, terrified, he didn't even bother closing the doors as he hurried under the shower and almost broke the faucet, turning the cold water all the way up. Then, curled on the floor under the stream, he shivered, sobbing in shame...

 

When an hour later he returned to his room, freezing, tired and looking miserable, Adrien saw Plagg waiting for him on his bed. Little green eyes serious, but warm, as he spoke.

"Talk to someone, kid. This can't go on forever."

Adrien made a face, avoiding his kwami's watchful gaze. _Talk..?_

"I'm fi- "

"No, you're not. - a hiss interrupted - And you won't be if you keep denying it. You were chosen for a reason, so..."

A thought surged Adrien's mind. A dark, depressing feeling. He was _chosen_ for this...

Hugging himself he grumbled - "Apparently chosen to be a villain's sex doll, that is...".

Plagg was in his face in an instant.

" _STOP THIS._ NO ONE could have predicted how that akuma would act! And may I remind you how this stupid human world works that those things _happen,_ whether someone is a superhero, or not?"

A wave of irritating injustice tightened Adrien's chest, but he didn't say anything as he stepped away and plopped into bed. Yeah, he had a vague understanding of the _world,_ but this didn't mean that _his_ world had to be so brutally invaded by those _things_ that _happen._ For a moment he didn't care that such harassment happens around them...

_As long as it didn't involve him._

But it was too late for hoping it, wasn't it?

So he sighed in resignation and hugged his pillow, wishing he had at least a few hours before he had to face the day. Another day. Just like every other. Sleep, please...

" _Adrien._ \- another hiss sounded hear his head and the boy struggled not to throw a pillow at his kwami.  - You were chosen, because you're brave. And you're strong, you stupid kid. I know that what'd happened was traumatic... But, as you said, you _will be_ okay. First you need to let someone help you. You _need_ this."

Plagg watched his chosen, still waiting for some kind of answer, not fully satisfied with their exchange. But he knew, he would have to wait more time. Human kids... _teenagers..._ bore a despicable amount of angst within themselves and almost never wanted to let anything waver their sense of inner security. Adrien wasn't much different, with an exception of being a sheltered boy, who seemed sometimes too pure for this world.

In a sense, it was good that he experienced those kinds of... feelings. It could prepare him, show him a little of the world outside his own. He's a teen. He'll heal. Sooner or later...

But first, he had to face himself.

 

Ladybug was in danger. That Adrien knew, when later that day he watched the news with his heart on his shoulder and saw a dagger-throwing akuma, shooting knives and blades all around. Taking in the sight from the reporter's helicopter, he saw strategic points in which he _should've been_ , to hit a blade away with his baton, or to grab that sixth hand of the akuma and maneuver himself around that, while his Lady worked on a plan.

But there he was, safe in a car, couple of streets away, watching the news, hearing his blood singing in his head, hands itching to act. To do something. But his mind was scared and it hurt him inside. It entered an emotionless void. That's when his heart decided for him.

Stepping out from the car, he calmly made his way inside the school building. Staring blankly, his legs moved on their own, leading him to the restroom. But not to hide.

Once there, Adrien took a deep breath. Once. Twice.

_Emotionless_. _Emotionless_.

"Plagg. Claws out."   

 

_Don't look. Don't feel. Just act._

Quick feet ran, jumped and advanced towards the commotion that was happening about the streets of Paris. Green eyes barely registering citizens pinned with sharp knives to the walls and sides of cars by their clothing - his mind focused on a task to _help his partner._ Help Ladybug.

Chat Noir tried to ignore the way her face lit up upon seeing him. Though clearly beaten and tired, she smiled, relief sparking in her eyes. It looked, as if she was... happy to see him. Chat tried ignoring it all.

Tried. And failed.

And it made him hate himself more. Because he didn't deserve it. He was here for her aid. And that's that.

They worked together, though. Like a one, balanced force that they were. However distant the cat hero seemed - his abilities hadn't wavered a bit.

After the fight, he just glanced about Ladybug, confirming that she didn't bear any permanent injuries. Content with what he observed, he turned around to retreat without another word. _Emotionless_ was quickly dissolving, the more he stood with his partner.

"Thank you, Chat."

He cringed at the sentiment in her voice, but he halted and waited.

_Didn't deserve. Didn't deserve._

_"Talk to someone! Let someone help you!"_

And for the first time since he arrived at the scene he really looked at her. Her eyes warm and worried. Body tensed, but waiting. Open. Caring. Nothing like the image his twisted dreams threw at him the last few days...

"Do you want to... talk?"

Her hesitant question, as delicate as it seemed, smacked him in the face.

_Get away. Get away from there. Stop those memories. Stop it._

But he swallowed his anxieties and exhaled his fears. Only quiet gloom rested on his features, as he nodded tightly. Just as he opened his mouth to think of something to say, a miraculous beep filled the seconds around them. So they exchanged disappointed looks, not really ready to head each their own way. But Ladybug's face twinkled with a smile. A _hopeful_ one.

"Tonight? On patrol?"

_It almost seems like you're asking me on a romantic date, milady_

It was ridiculous how those words appeared on the back of his head, as he watched her face, though his own remained untouched by emotions. His mind knowing well what they would be doing tonight on patrol... and he shivered. _Talk..._ But, as _brave_ as he was, he nodded a few times, not trusting his throat to say anything and he leaped away, to the safety of his own world. Again.

But, as he hid in the same restroom he transformed in earlier that day, tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He didn't know why, nor he cared. So, again, holed up in a stall Adrien let himself weep a bit the tightness in his chest away, before emerging from that hiding spot, without a care in the world.

Emotionless.


End file.
